I hate the way that this feeling of not being good enough seems to follow me around. At the moment, I’m feeling particularly frustrated about it, because I felt like I’d finally started to get a handle on the lie. I’d started to see it as being that. As being a lie, I mean. And now the feelings and fears have popped up in another area.
It makes me want to curse. Or spit. Or both.
I ran this weekend. That stupid, panicky feeling, which I hate so much, crept up on me. I gave in to it, and had to get away. Rachel say’s it’s a good thing that I gave in and ran, because staying might have meant doing something even more stupid. But I’m having trouble seeing it that way.
I don’t want this to be an issue forever. And I’m tired of believing lies.
Hmm, my Capital Letter senses are tingling again… Thank you for holding up your end of the deal about letting me know if it metastasized. I wish we could have a mini meeting with just us and Glor.. I feel like we need to nip this in the bud asap. (Plus we could work through the other big thing too) Anyhow, you know that I’m always here for you Love!
And I know you don’t want to hear this now, but look at how far you’ve come in not believing that lie any longer. You were believing it constantly a while ago and you got to the point that you were not. Same thing with me, I’m glad those old things come back – it measures progress and shows us just how far we’ve got to go. What do I always say (other than minchia and oye)?? Three steps forward and one back still puts you ahead two steps further than you started out. And if you let us, we’ll help you make this simply a trip, not even a full step. Deal?
Indeed. God loves you, and if you’re good enough for God, then you’re more than good enough for the rest of us.
I’ll be praying for you; should you need a friend in addition to the wonderful ones you already have, my offer on that score will always stand. You’re not alone.
I’ll leave you with a few words–not from the Bible, in a stunning change of pace, but rather from Sun Tzu: ‘He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.’ Whatever is going on is something you can and will overcome, even if it takes a bit longer than you had originally planned.
I hope things start looking up in short order.
K