On Monday night, I went out to dinner with a friend. She made a comment to me, which seemed really small at the time, but has had a huge impact on the way I’ve viewed myself over the last few days.
”You are growing,” my friend said as she smiled at me. “You have opinions now. And sometimes you even share your opinions.”
I think it’s nice when people point out the changes they see in us. Sometimes… a lot of the time… we’re not able to see them in ourselves. In the past, I was very careful to never form a solid opinion on anything, terrified that I’d be wrong in the way I thought. I guess I was a flake, changing my mind about issues depending on whomever I was speaking with and agreeing with whatever their views were. I was afraid that, by taking a stance on a position, I’d be offending someone if I spoke my mind. It wasn’t until hearing my friend’s comment that I realized I’m no longer doing this all the time.
How do you measure growth? I think it’s measured in different ways for different people. Obstacles that may seem monumental and imposing to one person may seem like cake to another.
So really I suppose the question is how do you measure growth in yourself?
For me, I measure growth in the number of times I’ve found my voice, and in the moments when I speak my mind. I measure it in the number of times I’ve made mistakes and chosen to laugh over them rather than punish myself. I measure it in the number of genuine smiles I’ve smiled, and in the instances when I’ve refused to plaster on a mask and pretended to feel something I’m not. In the times I’ve made myself vulnerable to people, and have been real with them.
I measure my growth in the number of times I’ve chosen to let my sisters go. In the number of times I’ve cried out to God for help and chosen not to rely on my own strength. I measure my growth in all the times I’ve stepped out on a limb and tried something new. In all the times I’ve slipped backwards but refused to stay there. I measure growth in myself in the increasing number of small things I’m learning to like about myself. I measure it in the comments I hear from other people, like the one my friend made at dinner, and the time Susan told me she loves to hear me laugh, because my laugh comes from my belly now. I measure growth in the baby-steps I take, as well as in the giant leaps and bounds.
I am growing. And I am liking the changes that I see in myself.
Beautiful – your post and you!
I only “know” you via the blog and I can see lots of growth just from where I’m sitting
As far as how I measure my growth…you’ve touched on alot of it. For me, It has been as I’ve been able to “find my voice” instead of just being a cameleon in my relationships…both with family and friends. Secondly, in my ability to love other people more authentically. I think most of us are selfish to the core/ behind all the fluff and noise…so as I catch myself doing things I would never have done when I was younger… these are also little indications of personal growth taking place.
[...] Lissa Kaye asks, “How do you measure [personal] growth?” She now speaks up for herself more than she did in the past; she’s more comfortable with her own voice, and her own opinions, instead of worrying about offending someone. I think it’s nice when people point out the changes they see in us. Sometimes… a lot of the time… we’re not able to see them in ourselves. In the past, I was very careful to never form a solid opinion on anything, terrified that I’d be wrong in the way I thought. I guess I was a flake, changing my mind about issues depending on whomever I was speaking with and agreeing with whatever their views were. I was afraid that, by taking a stance on a position, I’d be offending someone if I spoke my mind. […] [...]