I’d forgotten…

This post is long overdue, and I’m sorry about that. I’d forgotten that I’d promised to write about my date, however long ago that was, and have only just remembered because I’m still getting comments on First Date Worries. So here is an overview of the evening, or of as much of it as I can remember at the moment; my brain is still slightly fuzzy because my coffee’s not kicked in yet.

When Nate came to my house, he came to the front door and rang the bell. Despite my best attempts to prevent it from happening, my family got to the door before I did. Sarah, who’s always stepped in to play the role of the older brother/father to Racheal and I when we need one, looked him in the eye and said, “You had better take good care of my sister tonight,” and then, “We’ve got a big dog.” I was mortified as I led Nate off our front porch. But pleased at the same time; I love the way Sarah watches out for me.

We went on a double date; Nate and I, and then Stephanie and AJ, whom I graduated with but haven’t really spoken to since high school. When Nate picked me up, though, AJ wasn’t out of work yet, and so, to kill time before we could all go out to dinner, Nate drove me to the warehouse that his father owns and gave me a tour. It was a little frightening to be there all alone with him. The warehouse was big, and dark, and very very empty. Nothing happened, though. He showed me around the warehouse and explained to me what he did there. On the way to pick up Steph and AJ, Nate drove me past his house as well.

The small-talk in the car was a little awkward. “So tell me about yourself,” he said. The first thing out of my mouth was, “Well, my parents are divorced…” and I’m wondering what that means. Out of all the things I could have said, why was that the first thing I told him? And after that, I struggled to come up with much to say about myself; I realized, for the first time maybe, just how much I define myself by my secrets. I could not tell Nate who I really am, because I could not tell him my secrets. And so I settled for telling him about my sisters, that I like to paint and draw when I’ve got time, and joking that I walk my dog more than is probably healthy.

Once we got to Steph and AJ’s apartment, we switched vehicles; AJ’s jeep was better for us all to ride in than Nate’s truck. He and I sat in the back, while AJ drove and Stephanie rode shotgun. Nate rode the whole way with his arm resting on the seat behind me; he didn’t put his arm around me, but I was awfully aware of how close he was. He was a gentleman all night, opening every door for me and paying for both my dinner and the movie. It was nice of him, but part of me wished he hadn’t done that; I always feel like I owe people something when they buy things for me.

Dinner went alright. We drove to the city and ate at the Roadhouse Grill. I’d never been before, and, in all my analness, almost couldn’t handle the fact that you’re given peanuts to eat before your food is served and expected to throw the shells on the ground. Isn’t that a health code violation? Anyway, we all ate dinner and made small-talk. It was a little overwhelming, the way that Nate kept coming up with all sorts of things he’d like for he and I to do together; he said he wants to teach me to drive his truck, take me four-wheeling, take me to the lake…

At the movie theater, he sat with his arm around my shoulder. When he dropped me off at my house, shortly after midnight, he hugged me. At first I was grateful for this, because it eliminated all sorts of worrying, on my part, about whether or not he expected me to kiss him. But then, the next day, when I was re-playing the evening in my head, I started wondering why he didn’t kiss me. Is there something wrong with me? And then I made myself stop thinking about it… sometimes I over-analyze things way too much.

The most memorable part of the evening, I think, came right before Nate dropped me off at home. As we were coming into town, I saw the lights of a police car reflected in the side-view mirror of the truck. The officer had been patrolling for DWIs, and pulled Nate over for failing to signal when changing lanes. She didn’t give him a ticket, but she pulled him over right in front of my house. I could picture, in my head, my mother and sisters watching the whole thing from our living room window. In the morning, though, when I casually asked if anyone had been woken up by the police lights outside the house during the night, no one said that they had been. So I think that my secret is safe…